Build confidence through specific everyday actions

To work on confidence, choose one situation: asking a question in a meeting, requesting feedback or discussing a realistic deadline. A specific situation makes it easier to decide what to prepare and how to review the attempt.

NHS guidance on self-esteem recommends recognising your strengths, treating yourself kindly and learning to express your needs while respecting others. Read the NHS self-esteem guidance.

The following are our editorial exercises for everyday work situations. They offer preparation options, rather than a treatment programme or a promise of confidence within a set number of days.

Choose an action you can observe

“Become more confident at work” leaves many decisions open. Try something more specific: “In the next meeting, I will ask one question about the criteria for completing this task.” You can review that action even if you feel nervous during the conversation.

Choose a manageable, safe situation. You do not need to prove courage through a dangerous argument, a major risk or an interaction in which your boundaries are repeatedly disregarded.

Exercise 1 — record your preparation

Before acting, note what you have already done and what is missing. For example: “I read the brief and found two conflicting requirements. I do not yet know which takes priority.” This gives you a concrete question to bring to a colleague.

You can add one earlier experience: when you clarified a similar task, what you asked and what information you received. There is no need for a list of exceptional achievements. Ordinary completed work also gives you material to prepare from.

Exercise 2 — prepare an opening sentence

Choose wording that fits your circumstances:

• “To prepare the right result, I would like to clarify one criterion”
• “I can finish this scope by Thursday; if it is needed earlier, let's agree on the priority”
• “I do not have the figures for that point yet; I will check the source and return with an answer”

Read the sentence aloud and change words you would not normally use. The purpose is to have a clear way into the conversation. The other person may ask a further question or disagree, so consider what you are ready to discuss.

Exercise 3 — reduce the first attempt

If speaking to the whole team feels too difficult today, you could send the question in writing or discuss it with one colleague first. Choose a format that fits the available conditions, then decide whether you want to try another step.

Define a sufficient result in advance: perhaps stating the question and recording the answer. Do not quietly add “without stumbling over a single word” to the success criteria.

Exercise 4 — request specific feedback

After a presentation, ask “Which slide became unclear?” or “What information was missing for the decision?” rather than requesting a verdict on you as a person. These questions give the discussion a specific subject.

Record the comment separately from a conclusion about yourself. “The chart needs units” suggests an edit. “I am incapable” does not tell you what to change on the slide. Our guide to checking your interpretations develops this distinction.

If you want feedback on an account of your work, prepare it using the structure for a verifiable portfolio example. A clear problem, role and decision give the reviewer something specific to assess and help you frame a useful question.

Review the attempt

Note what you did, what you learned and what you would change in your preparation. You can reduce the task, ask for help or choose another format. Another person's response is not entirely within your control.

If you want to try mental rehearsal, first read the guide to affirmations and visualisation. To turn a broad intention into a workable step, use our explanation of goals and tasks.

Consider additional support

If difficulties with self-esteem persist and interfere with relationships, work or everyday life, discuss them with a qualified professional. NHS guidance notes that talking therapies, including CBT, can help with low self-esteem. Trying an exercise does not require handling every difficulty alone.